It's been a while since I've taken the time to post anything. I have mostly felt so drained after visiting with mother, but the last couple of days have been a gift, a miracle. She has felt fairly well and her mind has been clear. It's been hard to leave her because I know it won't last and I want to enjoy this time as much as possible.

She has fallen several times lately, mostly early morning when she gets up before getting her first parkinson's med. We try to get her to call for help, but she forgets.

As usual, her dreams have been very vivid. She has gone on walks with Isis, had visits from relatives far away (like Conchi), married some of my married children off again. Can't distinguish between reality and dreams. Also she personalizes things. A friend came to visit who is struggling with some other health issues. After, mother told me how it was she who had all these illnesses and that many tests were done and they had all came back positive that she is very ill. I guess her own illness is not enough.

Nina took her shoe shopping and it was an ordeal, finally had to bring her back and just bring some shoes in for mother to try on. After more than a week she is finally wearing her new shoes today. She has not wanted to come over for dinner. I think she is more anxious in the afternoon, so it is too much to leave the clinic. However, this morning I brought her over to our house and she watched me as I worked in the kitchen, almost an hour. She wanted to go back, but did not get panicky. I'll have to aim for short morning outings.

I imparted the news that her brother had died, she took it well.

Mother's mental deterioration seems to be speeding up. Her lucid moments are brief.

Last Friday afternoon I got a call from the care center, mother had gone outside and when they brought her back in she became very angry and aggressive, physically fighting with the nurses, even throwing things. I was an hour away so my son, Aaron, went over. She was sitting by the nurses station, pointing and yelling at the nurses. They'd given her medication, but it wasn't helping.

Mother wanted to go to the school next door, so Aaron walked with her. She tried the doors and when she found them locked, she became very anxious, hyperventilating and crying out. Aaron picked her up and she calmed down, he carried her back to her bed and she slept for a while.

Mother was wild again later, would not sit still. Nina tried to calm her. She hid her shoes, in hopes that this would keep her from going outside.

Even at 8 PM, after quite a bit of medication, she was still railing against "these people who had tried to restrict her from doing what she wanted to do, and of course she was not about to allow such thing". It was amazing to see how much energy she had and how well she was moving, yet not making much sense in what she said. Every so often she would look for her shoes, wanted to "go somewhere".

Mother could not understand why we were all so concerned. All she had done was go for a walk with Isis, to the church. (Isis is 2000 miles away).

Next day she was very restless again, but not aggressive. She received medication. Sunday she came to our house for dinner but wanted to go back to the clinic immediately after. However, she wanted me to know she liked being at the house.